5/19/06
author: Dippity Dawg


With the runors of the iPhone, Apple is sitting back smiling with their real new product, slated for January 2007 and the public has no idea. It is made for every household and everyone will want one. It is the iSpouse with a mute button. Each iSpouse will come equipped to do the dishes, take out the trash and mow the lawn. For men, the female iSpouse will not talk to you when you are watching sports, working on your computer, driving, eating, actually, it won't talk to you at all if you don't want it to. In order for the female version to help the male customer, it needed twice the hard drive space and ram to actually do math to help you with your banking and she will laugh when you fart on the couch. The female iSpouse will also have the memory of conversation wiped each night to insure you get a spontaneous reaction each time you tell the same story again and again. And to capitalize on men's biggest complaint, the sleak Apple design will not change and your iSPouse will be the same each and every day.

The male version will talk and cater to every emotional need and will be able to talk out any decision or need the female customer may need. This model will cost almost twice the price, because it will actually come with two units so one is there for the female customer at all times, even while the other male iSpouse recharges. Unlike the female iSpouse, the male iSpouse will remember everything you said and obey accordingly, reminding you as you are explaining so you know you are being listened to. Another difference from the female iSpouse, the male iSpouse will learn from their owner's reactions and by running updates through OS X each night at Apple headquarters, the male iSpouse will change accordingly.

Unfortunately third party companies have caught wind of what Apple is up to and we cannot mention some of the accessories that are already in the works for the iSpouse. This is Apple's new secret weapon to get around Microsoft OS monopoly. While Apple monopolizes the Mp3 industry, now they are on their way to monopolize your household, and like the iPod, you will be happy about it.


Prior: Creative-ly Sue Apple a Second Time